Make it less about you

When you’re walking into an important conversation, what’s going through your mind?

I reckon a lot of leaders are thinking about themselves. Not in a big-headed way, but self-consciousness is driving their behaviour.

They’re focusing on how they’ll come across; perhaps worrying about what to say if they’re challenged. Maybe second-guessing and doubting themselves.

Here’s the problem, though: The second your focus turns inward, your impact starts to fade.

Leaders who are highly credible focus outward, on the person or people in front of them. Not in a “they hate me!” way – that’s still self-consciousness, and not in any way helpful.

I mean genuinely focusing on them, not you, and asking yourself questions like: What do they need from me right now? How can I be of service? What clarity to they need so they can take action?

It makes sense, doesn’t it? When people feel understood, they’re more willing to understand you. They’re more likely to trust you and follow your lead.

It’s a simple shift and with practice it becomes more embedded.

It’s also one of the most powerful moves you can make to better connect with people in moments that matter.

Another big leadership trap is avoiding hard conversations because you’re worried people won’t like you. That’s self-consciousness in another form and it serves nobody.

The truth is, leadership isn’t a popularity contest. Here’s my take, in my latest video: https://youtu.be/odnbJf6k8gA